Greg Gutfeld has edited some of the world's most recognizable magazines -- Men's Health, Stuff and UK Maxim -- but now he's making a name for himself on the Internet, first as the conservative blogger on the liberal Huffington Post and now as the creator of the brand-new (and hilarious) Daily Gut.

Between drinks at a London watering hole this week, Gutfeld found the time to answer a bunch of questions explaining who he is, what he's doing and how he got to be where he is today.

Where did you come up with the idea behind The Daily Gut?

My friend Andy and I have been looking at the World Wide Web for some time, and we were thinking there was an entire audience that was being overlooked—people whose needs weren’t being met by the web because, you know, they don’t have computers. So we’ve created a business that is the Internet for people who don’t have computers. It’s called theinternetdotcom.com.

It’s basically the front door to the Internet. If you go to theinternetdotcom.com, you can find us there.

There, you’ll find we have indexed 40 pages, including The Daily Gut and a host of other interesting web products.

But mainly, The Daily Gut is our news website, which delivers news in a webby fashion. Essentially you turn on the computer, and the news is funneled onto your screen from these pipes that I shovel the news into. I call them news pipes.

You should also check out Al Zarqawi’s mom’s blog, which is both informative and delightful. She has a lot to say about the world, and she’s not afraid to say it. She’s mad for Matt Lauer. And she loved Six Flags, although she was disgusted that people there would pay 4 bucks for bottled water. She blames that on the Jews.

Why should people follow your rantings?

Because if they don’t their pets will die. And, in a fashion so grisly it would turn Armin Meiwes’ stomach.

Who is Armin Meiwes? [Editor’s note: Gutfeld asked this question of himself.]

He is the 41-year-old computer technician and practicing cannibal who ate some guy he met off the Internet. He taped it all on a camcorder. I have not seen the footage, although at times I like to think I have. Cannibalism is a totally viable lifestyle choice—and if you find it uncomfortable, then that’s your hang-up. Deal with it. Open your mind.

Have you always been interested in politics and current events?

Humans should not be interested in politics. You only get interested in politics in order to stop the other people who are interested in politics from taking your money or destroying your life. Me, I’m mainly interested in eating sweets and drawing stuff, like sweets. I would like to draw you a picture some time.

Where do you live?

I have a car.

What do you enjoy most about blogging?

Do you know that the Huffington Post pays me, on average, $4,000 a post? I have made $24K in the last month off that place. And it’s only about an hour or so of work. Arianna is loaded. She has money coming out of every orifice. And when she’s bored she takes out thick wads of $50s and makes Al Franken crawl on the floor for them. He’s usually covered in cranberry sauce. He’s old and pathetic and we all kind of sit around and laugh at him. We say stuff like, “Hey Al!” and “Nice one Al!” He’s pretty confused most of the time and we have to call his handlers to come and get him.

Do you have any advice for someone who’s trying to make a name for himself as a blogger?

The best thing would be to change your name to Ira Blogger. Because then people will write about how cool it is that there’s a blogger whose name is Blogger!

The same thing happened with Charles Manson. He got all that press because he killed those people but his name was also, you know, Manson—which is a serial killer’s name! Coincidences like that make the front pages.

But, to be honest: making your name as a blogger is the equivalent of making your name “using the telephone.” Seriously, how different is it than calling up someone just to shoot the poop? The web is nothing more THAN A GIANT PHONEBOOK. It’s true. I only use it to order pizza and locate a plumber. What else is the Internet good for, seriously? It’s not like you really find anything on it. One time I went on the Internet to look for sunglasses. And the funny thing was, they were right on top of my head!

The only time the Internet is helpful is when I need to order a bipolar cutting forceps.

What’s it like to blog at the Huffington Post?

Imagine going to a really dull cocktail party filled with self-obsessed smackheads who care more about their feelings than the issues … and throwing up on the sofa.

That’s kind of what it’s like. I show up at this party and throw up on the sofa. Except instead of vomit, you get the truth. Truth-vomit, really.

Where does Daily Kos stack up in comparison to the Huffington Post?

Is that Bill Kosby’s daily blog? It’s got funny sayings like “Where’s my Jell-O puddin’?”

What kind of feedback have you gotten in response to The Daily Gut from your Huffington Post fans?

It’s only been in operation for three, maybe four days, but I think they seem to enjoy it. People cannot get enough of me. To them I am like a drug! An elixir for what ails them. Plus the site is lemon-scented.

Here’s the way I see it: The Daily Gut is like a fetus. Just forming. Over time, it will grow to be big fat healthy baby. Then, later, an adorable child. Soon thereafter, it might take up sports. Soccer, probably.

Then, as a troubled teen with serious hygienic issues, it will turn to recreational drugs. When it reaches young adulthood, it will yearn to spread its wings, and move to Copenhagen and live with a performance artist. It will get married, divorced, then married again. Then in its late 50s, it will open a bar somewhere in Milpitis, Calif. It will be called Bluto’s 22 and 3rd. Every now and then his daughter from the first marriage will show up with some pictures of the grandkids, and some baked goods. He will be slightly drunk, wearing a fishing cap, slightly askew. She will give him some money, which he’ll say he doesn’t want—but he’ll take it anyway.

Then one night, when he’s especially wasted, he’ll drive into the ocean. Later they will search his studio apartment, and under the bed, find a fully-functioning perpetual motion machine. It will be made of sugar cubes and body hair.

We’ve heard you called a right-wing provocateur? How’s it possible for someone on the right to have run magazines like Stuff and UK Maxim?

It’s totally possible—I did it. But then, I’m unusual.

Yes, it’s almost impossible to find anyone who isn’t a liberal running a mag. But it’s also almost impossible to find anyone who is handsome, funny and terrifically charming in magazines as well.

AND I AM ALL THREE OF THOSE THINGS!

It’s really amazing when you think about it. Can I have some more of this champagne? I gather this is the standard Veuve Clicquot Yellow Label Brut NV Nebuchadnezzar. And the way you’ve poured it into a plastic flute. ... You go to the gym don’t you?

Magazine editors are self-obsessed dopes. Their black and white photos—they’ve practiced looking off in the distance as they quietly fill their diapers. Those muppets don’t edit mags that people read. However, if you do a mag filled with common sense, one that will speak and write honestly to your readers, you get mags like Stuff and Maxim, and those mags get millions of readers.

I cannot believe no one has done a really funny, smart, honest news magazine. I could do it in my sleep. Why doesn’t some one give me a few million dollars right now, and I will launch the best magazine on the planet?

What was life like in the magazine business? Do you miss it?

Magazines are fun to work at—and being an editor isn’t a real job. You don’t lift anything heavy, you’re not protecting the country. You aren’t saving anyone’s lives. Being an editor is the only job on the planet you can do well while being drunk all the time. At any moment in time, 65% of the world’s editors are at work drunk.

But I have many great memories. I’ve been doing magazines for 16 years. But that’s for another time, when we’re alone, up at that little place I was telling you about. In the hills. It’s not too far, and we’ll just fish. Nothing weird. You can trust me.

How’d you get started in the magazine business?

My first job was at the American Spectator. I worked as Bob Tyrell’s assistant for under a year. I got him tuna sandwiches, and his dry cleaning, and I drove him around in his diesel Mercedes. I once counted all of his books in his library. I also photographed his personal belongings for insurance purposes. Bob Tyrell is a maniac, but he’s a wonderful maniac. Andy Ferguson worked there, and he’s still probably the best writer in AMERICA. Not including Matt Labash and Denis Boyles. I am lucky to know the best writers in America.

Who inspired you to do what you do (or have done)?

I entertain myself—that’s the definition of a fool. I am a complete, absolute fool. An idiot, if you will.

But here is my list of people who inspire me:

• My heavenly wife, who is far smarter than me and suffers for it

• My mom, who bought me Mad Magazine

• Ray Kroc. Creator of the greatest food in the world, McDonalds. Which brings me to Morgan Spurlock.

I hate Morgan Spurlock. The creep completely ripped me off. I wrote about eating nothing but McDonalds as an experiment, in Men’s Health years before his movie.

The guy ripped me off. I hope his hair falls out in clumps!

How do you define your politics? When and why did you become a conservative?

I was a lefty in high school—which is normal because it’s a romantic thing to do—being a crusading lib makes everything in the world about YOU and YOUR FEELINGS. Which coincides nicely with being a teenager. It’s all about speaking truth to power, which translated, means, LOOK AT ME. It’s OK when kids do it—but it’s gross when adults do it, because you really should have grown out of that stage. This is why so many celebs become lefties when they hit their 27th birthday—their growth was stunted. The celebs who are righties tend to have lived a lot more than the others.

Anyway, I was in a debate in high school, on the pros and cons of mutually assured destruction. I took the con side, since I was anti-nuke. This guy Jeff Philliber took the pros. Jeff was kind of a nerd. I wasn’t. Sorry Jeff, but it was true. But anyway, I breezed through my opening remarks. Then Jeff wipes the floor, the windows, the lockers, and the small of his back with me. It’s really weird to be in a debate, and to realize the other person is dead right. So I did something cheap and sleazy. I played to the crowd with wisecracks—and I can’t remember how I did this.

I had a friend of mine send a note to the classroom to say I had an emergency at home. So I was able to leave. I came back in the end, and the class voted on the outcome and I won the debate. This is 23 years ago, and I still remember the whole thing. I bet Jeff Philliber doesn’t! But at that point I realized I was an imposter. And if an imposter can hold liberal beliefs so easily, then they aren’t really beliefs. I prove that at the Huffington Post daily.

This happened at Serra High School in San Mateo, where Barry Bonds went to high school. So did Bill Keller.

Keller and I had the same jobs—both editing the Serra Friar. But we were years apart. I did a far better job than him. And even now, in 2006, I bet that still bothers him. He won’t return my calls.

Or my shirt.

Anyway, the parents had no idea what was going on at the school. In religion class you could get extra credit if you campaigned for the Nuclear Freeze. That meant getting signatures outside of church for some petition. I did it, and raised my grade to an A. I was shameless.

I remember being at St. Gregory’s, getting signatures, and people just signing it because they knew me. Some refused. I didn’t care. I needed something like five pages of signatures. The teacher was also the soccer coach. He cut me after I broke my foot. I never forgave him for that.

Are you a fan of President Bush?

I am not a “fan” of Bush, since right now that’s pretty much impossible. I am less a fan of the alternatives to Bush (notably the Democrat candidates), the press and even less a fan of the pre-pre-electoral system that puts political hacks like Gore, Kerry and Bush in positions of power and influence. Do you know what I am a fan of? I am a fan of our nation, our military, and the band Clinic. I urge all of you to go out and buy their CDs. Also, the Melvins. I am a fan of the Melvins and the song “Honey Bucket,” in particular. And Broadcast. Ladytron.

Another great band. I could go on. Also, go see the movie Dead Man’s Shoes. It’s the best movie of the last five years. By Shane Meadows and Paddy Considine.

You will not regret it. It’s wonderfully violent, and contains the greatest drug scene ever committed to film.

This is what I am not a fan of:

• Raisin in sauces or desserts

• The edges of my fingers after I bite my nails too far down

• Mike Patton’s Peeping Tom CD. I was looking forward to this for years, and it did not live up to my inflated expectations

• The smell of the interior of a lunchbox that’s been left out in the sun.

It’s getting hot in here. Do you mind if I take off my shirt?

How would you rate Bush’s performance on 1) the war in Iraq, 2) immigration, 3) social issues (gay marriage, abortion, etc.)?

1) The war: At a time when many of the West’s leaders are racing to capitulate thousands of years of industrial and intellectual development to the worst medieval lunatics on earth, Bush has had the guts to finally DO something. But I guess supporters are just tired of having to do all the talking for him. That’s what is so infuriating. Even with a world press that essentially hates free enterprise, we should be able to get far better ink than we do. Hamas gets better press than the 82nd Airborne. That’s as much the State Department’s fault as it is Paul Krugman’s or LeMonde.

Europeans are calling America a bigger Mideast peace impediment than Iran. Epcot Center is what’s left of the real Europe. It’s more “real” than the actual continent, and it has a better snack bar. We won the Cold War—and they went instead with Socialism, the loser’s doctrine. They need a continent-sized shrink’s couch to lie down on and re-connect with who the hell they were.

2) Immigration: I love Mexicans. They show up with nothing, work their asses off, go to church on Sunday, love their kids to death, and make their way. They’re conservatives, they just don’t know it. Still, we can’t have the entire nation of Mexico move to Nevada…although I imagine the bordellos would improve considerably. So shut the borders down, integrate the people we have here now. Full citizenship? Eventually.

The Mexicans are good people—it’s Mexico that’s a disaster.

3) Social issues (gay marriage, abortion, etc): Don’t care. Nuts in caves who in the past could barely make it to town to sell a goat can now fly planes into buildings. Leadership in the West means keeping us safe from Islamist aggression, period. All the rest—the economy, social issues, etc.—spring from your success or failure on that. Where is the left’s plan to protect us? Why not a single coherent counter-terrorism policy EVER proposed by the Democrats? EVER?????? It must be locked away somewhere, along Gore’s blueprint for the Internet.

The sad fact is, the left really doesn’t choose to believe in the terrorist threat. Because it undermines everything they need to cling to about the evil nature of the US. It’s US, not them.

I seem to have a cramp in my thigh. Do you mind if I remove these trousers and do a few stretches on the bed?

Who do you like in 2008? Does Hillary stand a chance?

I give Americans more credit. Europe’s mired in double-digit unemployment and multi-cultural malaise—should we really be adopting a lefty social agenda that mirrors that, and that will characterize a Hillary administration? She will run, and she will lose. That is my prediction. I cast my vote for Vili Fualaaus. He was the 14-year-old Samoan kid who impregnated his teacher Mary Letourneau back in 1991.

Mary went to jail on rape charges. Then he impregnated her again, the scamp. Now they’re living happily on some seafront celebrating their first wedding anniversary. He lived out every man’s dream, and he married her and raises the daughters. Against him, Hillary does not stand a chance.

You’re quite the budding artist. Can we expect more drawings on The Daily Gut?

I love to draw. I have drawn something for you here.



It’s a picture of Vili Fualaaus. Do you like it?

Any words of wisdom?

This is when I say something really funny! OK. How about some trivia? The average American spends at least two-and-a-half years doing … what? Being under three!

I love that joke!!!!

Seriously, now that we’re done, you promised you’d show me how to do that thing with the rope.