Social & Domestic Issues

The SOTU drinking game

The SOTU drinking game

The president’s State of the Union address is tonight. If you find you’ve already Hulu-ed The Bachelor and finally come to grips with the fact that Fraiser is never coming back, you may have to end up watching it.

Sigh.

The only way to get through life is to have fun. Games are fun. Drinking is fun. Drinking games are the most fun.

Out of the goodness of our hearts and the creative passion of our souls, HE has created an entertaining diversion to make Obama’s speech tolerable. (And with any luck you won’t remember any of it!)

Every time the president says “income inequality,” drink a Boilermaker. But make sure it’s equal parts 12 ounce beer and 12 ounce whisky shot. It just wouldn’t do to ingest more of one spirit over the other.

Each time the president brings up immigration, eat the worm from the bottom of the tequila bottle. We need to make room in this country for more border hoppers.

Whenever the camera pans to John Boehner, take a swig of Campari to commiserate with him and the sour taste he must constantly have left in his mouth from sitting through things like Obama speeches.

If and when Barry brings up Obamacare (he might want the American people to forget that one), chug that bottle of Cupcake Whipped Cream Vodka you have left over from that Christmas gift basket. Cupcake brand has been distilled six times, kind of like the multiple delays of the law’s mandates. It is also sugar-coated,vapid, and bad for your health, just like something else we know…

Every time the president uses the word “folks,” drink some “Old Grand-dad,” because that is the only sort of person who should be using such a term.

When the president doesn’t mention the Keystone Pipeline, crack open a Keystone (obviously), and shotgun it for Second Amendment Rights Awareness.

If the minimum wage is mentioned, feel free to sip an icy O’Doul’s NA, which makes about as much sense.

Finally, keep a bottle of wine handy to honor the theme of the whole experience. (Wine = whine, get it?) Any kind will do.

Warning* You will likely wake up the same headache you’ve had every day you’ve woken up and remembered Obama is president.

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