Yesterday's Top Stories

The week that was

The week that was

 “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” 
― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

President Obama started the week off by just finally admitting he is in cahoots with liberal journalists. The president, like his cohorts, uses his power to invent facts to get away with anything. He even revealed that both parties make use of the same methods:  “I’ve got a pen, and I’ve got a phone,” he said. 

Sen. Tom Coburn (R-OK) announced that he is retiring two years early, citing health concerns as a reason. Coburn was trained as a medical doctor, and because of his penchant for denying Congressional legislation, he earned the nickname, “Dr. No.” Coburn’s departure is a great loss for the conservative cause, as his replacement could very well be a Dr. Oh No.

The latest spending bill appeared this week. Despite all its 1,582-page glory, the bill neglects to mention the fact that America is no longer near the top of economic freedom.

The NSA is so desperate for something to do that they have resorted to reading our text messages. They have been busy deciphering a lot of cryptic messages that say things like, “See you soon,” and “Be there in five.”

Michelle Obama turned 50 this week. ABC came up with 50 ways to celebrate her birthday. They mostly have to do with exercising and shopping. Which are the same thing.

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