Conspiracy Theory

A question for liberals:
 
Do you believe that Osama bin Laden’s new tape is a fake?
 
If you do, that explains why so many people in this country have a problem with the Left’s approach to the War on Terror.
 
Those of us on the Right believe that the tape is real–because we believe the threat is real. We are of the opinion that 9/11 was not a "one-off," an "exclusive engagement" of Isalmofascist terrorism; rather, we believe that 9/11 was the opening salvo in a lengthy campaign on the part of extremist Muslims to cripple the United States and her allies, destroy Christianity and Judaism, and bring about the worldwide dominion of radical Islam. We believe that bin Laden is deeply committed to the cause of destroying the United States, which is why we would like all Americans to be deeply committed to the cause of defending the United States.
 
We believe that defending the US not only requires punishing those who committed the attacks on 9/11, but also deterring the threat posed by those who, like bin Laden, wish to see the US come to harm. Saddam Hussein was not technically an "Isalmofascist," but based on the best intelligence available at the time, we believed that Hussein also posed a significant threat to national security (he had a history of protecting and financially supporting Islamofascist terrorists, and it was believed that he had the motive and the opportunity to conduct, or aid in the execution of, another 9/11-style attack). Because of the threat that we felt Hussein posed, we strongly supported President Bush‘s efforts to remove him from power.
 
Although the information about Hussein’s weapons of mass destruction program turned out to be inaccurate, we believe that the President acted in good faith based on the data he was given. We support his efforts to establish a functioning democracy in Iraq, as we believe that the presence of a thriving Arab democracy in the heart of the Middle East will ultimately break the back of Islamofascism and thus reduce the overall terror threat to the United States.
 
We believe that bin Laden is outraged by the success we’ve had so far in thwarting his deranged goals, which is why he is once again sounding a call to arms. We believe that this threat is real.
 
However, it seems that some on the left–most notably former Vice President Al Gore–do not believe that the terrorist threat is real. A number of prominent left-wing figures have attacked President Bush’s efforts to electronically monitor terrorist suspects, with some falsely suggesting that his efforts are illegal and others implying that he deserves to be impeached. Apparently, these left-wing figures feel that the President has ulterior motives for his initiative.
 
If they believe that Bush has ulterior motives, then it stands to reason that they do not believe there is a legitimate risk of another 9/11-style attack. After all, if one concluded that there are indeed ongoing efforts to strike America again, how could one logically object to perfectly legal attempts to thwart such efforts?
 
Those of us on the Right suspect that there is an unusually high number of progressives who think that Bush is "making it all up," exaggerating or blatantly lying about the prospects of another 9/11-style attack for political purposes. We suspect that you think Bush, Karl Rove, Dick Cheney, Don Rumsfeld, and Condi Rice went to a secret room in the White House one evening and, over plates of steak and glasses of gin, and concocted a plot to scare the wits out of the American people, using the threat of another attack as a tool to keep the "sheeple" in line.
 
We suspect that you think Bush is the greatest flim-flam artist since, well, Bill Clinton.
 
We suspect that you guys don’t really take the prospect of another 9/11 seriously.
 
This, of course, explains why we on the Right have such a hard time taking you guys seriously.

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